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But then—anger kicks in, fear leads to anger… saw this sleazy joint once, callin’ it “sexual-massage.” Total sham! Dim lights, creepy dude, ugh—ruined it! Wanted to yell, “This ain’t it, bro!” Total buzzkill, made me wanna puke. “Yi Yi” got it right—“Truth’s simpler than we think.” Should be real, not fake-ass nonsense.

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Still, gotta admit, it’s fascinatin’. Happy? Hell yea, who wouldn’t be? Warm oils, soft hands – mmm, like a Krusty Burger for yer soul! But shady spots? Ugh, ticks me off. Stay safe, bud – don’t get scammed. Ever tried it? Tell me! I’m dyin’ to know, prolly overthinkin’ it now. Heh, “gleaning’s my life,” like Varda’s folks – I’m gleanin’ weird stories for ya! Whaddya think? Sexy or sketchy?

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Here’s the kicker—ya don’t need a pro. Grab some oil, get yer partner, DIY that shit! Pro tip: warm the oil first—cold hands kill the vibe. Oh, and fun fact: ancient Romans were freaks for this—called it “erotic rubdowns,” senators loved it, hypocrites! Me? I’d rather see the workin’ class enjoy it than some toga-wearin’ jerk. Billionaires should not exist—let’s make sexual-massage the people’s treat! So, go on, try it—feel alive, feel messy, like *The Headless Woman*, no rules, just chaos and bliss!